


Wounded Heart

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Michael Novotny Bashing, Minor Character Death, Points of View, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-09
Updated: 2004-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-27 05:58:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12074907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Plot Bunny Stephanie M.AU. Justin and Daphne find themselves married their senior year of high school.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Justin’s POV

I remember when my life was so easy, I was a normal teenage boy living at home with his parents, going to school, hanging with his best friend and ogling all the guys. I remember the day that my life changed; it wasn’t for the better or worse, it just changed. It was six months ago…

‘I’m sitting on my bed watching Daphne pace back and forth; it’s been like this for thirty minutes now. I wait for her to tell me because eventually she will but this is going a lot longer that normal. 

“Daphne, enough, I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on,” I demand. 

“Remember when we had sex at the beginning of August,” she asks. 

“Yea, you wanted our first time to be together,” I remind her. 

“We used protection; the condoms were new, but…”

“But what Daphne,” I ask, I feel the panic starting to rise up in me. 

“I’m pregnant Justin, I’m fucking pregnant,” she says crying. I feel the panic surge through my body and I can’t say anything, I can’t breath, I can’t do anything. I just stare at her wondering how the fuck we got ourselves into this mess. It’s the middle of September; we just started our senior year of school. I was ‘outed’ at school as gay last month and now she’s telling me she’s pregnant. 

“Justin, Justin, please say something,” Daphne cries snapping me out of my thoughts. I immediately realize that I can’t allow Daphne to go through this alone. I can’t allow her to carry this burden by herself. I stand up and go to her, pulling her into my arms and she starts crying. 

“It’s OK Daphne, we’ll get through this. If you want the baby, we’ll raise it together and if not then we’ll handle that too. I won’t abandon you, never Daph,” I say. I know what I’m saying is true. I would never allow Daphne to go through this alone.

“Daphne, we need to tell our parents right away,” I say.

“I can’t Jus, my parents will kill both of us, Oh God, what are we going to do,” Daphne cries on my shoulder.

“We’ll get through it Daphne, together, we’ll get through it.” I pull her tightly against me rubbing her back wondering how true my words are. 

Both of our parents are strict Catholic and high in society so after the yelling, screaming and tears, they agreed that we were to get married. Because both Daphne and I were seventeen, we were able to obtain a marriage certificate and were married by the justice of the peace a formal Catholic wedding to be held later with our family present. Our parents paid for us to get a two-bedroom apartment, so we were living alone, going to school, studying, and being best friends. One night over dinner, we were talking,

“Justin, I know that you are gay, if you want to, you know, sleep with guys, I understand,” Daphne said hesitantly. I look at her carefully wondering how truthful she was being when I realized that she was dead serious. But, I took vows and promised to put no one before her and I intend to honor that. 

“Daphne, I wouldn’t do that to you. We took vows and I won’t break them. I love you, maybe not as a lover but I do love you. We’ll figure things out,” I say. Realizing that I may be in the closet forever. Well, I guess that’s not necessarily true. The beatings I’m taking daily at school are a reminder that my classmates either think that I’m gay or bi. We haven’t told anyone that we are married or that she’s pregnant. We know that it will come out eventually, but for right now, we don’t want to discuss it. 

“If you’re sure Jus,” Daphne says doubting me. 

“I’ve never lied to you Daphne and I won’t start now,” I remind her. I love Daphne and I know this is hard for her. She’s has always been ‘in love’ with me and now that we’re married, I still can’t satisfy her needs because I don’t feel that way about her. 

That conversation was a wake up call. I was finally realizing that Daphne and I were truly married and I would never feel Brian’s arms around me again. Feel him moving inside me, kissing me, owning me. I miss him so bad that it hurts but I won’t hurt Daphne that way. The knocking at the door brings me out of my thoughts. I hurry to answer the door thinking that Daphne has her hands full. Opening the door, I’m surprised to find two uniformed police officers standing in front of me. 

“Mr. Taylor,” one of the police offers say. 

“Yes,” I say wondering what is going on. 

“May we come in,” the other one asks. Allowing them in, we stand in the entry to the apartment in silence.

“Mr. Taylor there was an accident tonight with your wife and your parents,” 

“What…what happened,” I ask looking around for my keys. 

“They were involved in a car accident, unfortunately your parents died on impact. Your wife is in critical condition and it doesn’t look good,” they inform me. My breath hitches and I feel the tears running down my face, my parents are gone and my wife…she’s alive, she needs me. 

“I…I have to get to the hospital, please get me to the hospital,” I beg crying. I know that I’m in no condition to drive, my hands are shaking, and my vision is blurry with tears. 

“My baby, what about my baby,” I ask. 

“The baby was in distress when Mrs. Taylor was taken off the scene,” the officer informs me. I nod my head, throwing on my shoes, grabbing my wallet and keys. 

“Please get me there,” I beg again. They nod their head in agreement and usher me out of the apartment. 

When we arrive at the hospital fifteen minutes later, I rush into the ER.

“Daphne Taylor, she’s my wife. She was just brought in,” I rush out with tears still running down my face. 

“Just a moment Mr. Taylor,” the nurse says before going behind the curtain. I’m pacing back and forth when Daphne’s parents arrive. 

“Justin, do you know what’s going on,” Mr. Chanders asks.

“The police only said that my parents…my parents are dead and that Daphne was alive,” I choke out. Mrs. Chanders comes to me and takes me into her arms. 

“Mr. Taylor,” someone asks from behind me. I pull away from Mrs. Chanders and turn toward the voice. A doctor in scrubs is standing there looking forlorn. 

“Yes,” I say moving towards him. 

“I’m Dr. Wesley, I‘m your wife’s attending physician. We should have this conversation in private,” Dr. Wesley says looking over my shoulder. 

“No, these are Daphne’s parents, they have a right to know,” I tell him. 

“OK, please follow me into a private waiting room,” he says. We quickly follow him into a room and sit down by each other. 

“Mrs. Taylor came in with a serious head trauma, internal injuries and in labor. We immediately moved her to the OR and delivered the baby. Unfortunately, Mrs. Taylor did not survive. We tried everything but there was too much damage. I’m very sorry for your loss.” Dr. Wesley says. The tears start falling and my body is shaking from the force of the sobs racking through my heart and soul. Daphne’s dead, died during delivery, the baby…

“What…what about the baby,” I ask. 

“The baby is in the NICU. She wasn’t harmed in the accident but she’s three months early so she’ll be there for awhile,” he says. 

“Can we see our baby girl,” Mr. Chanders asks.

“Yes, of course follow me,” Dr. Wesley says. 

We follow the doctor grimly to where Daphne is. It looks like they have tried to clean her up but you can see the damage done to her body. 

“NOOOOOOOO,” Mrs. Chanders cries. Her husband pulls her into his arms as they move toward Daphne. I move to the other side of the bed and look down at my best friend. I hold her hand, feeling it slightly cool and the tears continue running down my face. 

“I love you Daphne,” I say to her, kissing her bandaged head. I step back allowing her parents to say goodbye in their own way. I don’t know what I’m going to do now. My parents are gone, my best friend and wife are gone. I’m all by myself. I feel the tears running down my face and I have to sit down because the room starts spinning. 

It feels like we stay here forever-saying goodbye to Daphne before I remember that I have a child now that I haven’t seen. Quickly exiting the room, I ask for directions to the NICU. Following the directions, I find myself standing in front of two electronically locked doors. Picking up the phone, I hear the doors release and start opening, replacing the receiver I walk quickly into the unit. 

“Can I help you,” a nurse asks. 

“Yes…um...Taylor baby,” I ask. 

“Are you Mr. Taylor,” the nurse asks. I nod my head and she has me sign some paperwork, authorizing visitors, the birth certificate naming me as the father, authorizing treatment, and insurance. After signing everything, she indicates me to follow her. She leads me into a large room full of incubators and cribs. She directs me over to an incubator with a tiny baby lying inside. 

“Mr. Taylor, this is your daughter. She’s doing ok but having trouble breathing on her own so we are giving her oxygen. She’s only two pounds fifteen ounces, so we are providing her food through a feeding tube. You can push your hands through the holes to touch her if you would like,” she explains. I look at my baby girl, staring at her before tentatively reaching through the holes caressing my child’s small face. 

“Mr. Taylor, do you have a name for her,” the nurse asks. I stare down at my daughter. 

“Caitlyn Daphne Taylor,” I tell her. Daphne and I had talked about what we were going to name our child and I felt that I had to honor the girl’s name we picked but had to give the baby part of Daphne too. Staring down at my little girl, my love for her overwhelms me. My knees give out and the nurse helps me over to the rocking chair sitting by Caitlyn’s incubator. I cry with all my heart for the love of my daughter, the loss I feel for Daphne and my parents. I’m all alone in this world and I don’t know how I’m going to do it alone. 

“Justin,” a tentative voice asks behind me. I turn around and see the Chanders standing there. Their faces streaked with tears, I wave them over, leaning forward I continue to look at my daughter. 

“Is that…” Mr. Chanders trails off.

“Meet your granddaughter, Caitlyn Daphne Taylor,” I tell them. We stand there for a while before the nurse comes back in. 

“Mr. Taylor, I’m sorry but we need to check your baby over. If you would like, you can come back tomorrow morning. We have a lot of things to discuss but they can wait for tomorrow,” the nurse says. 

“I don’t want to leave her,” I say looking at my child. 

“Justin, you need to go home,” Mr. Chanders says placing a hand on my shoulder. 

“But…I have nothing to go home to. I have nobody left,” the sobs returning with force. I am truly all alone in this world except for my daughter. 

“Well, if you wouldn’t have gotten our daughter pregnant this wouldn’t have happened. You would still have your parents and us our daughter,” Mrs. Chanders cries. I look at her shock before taking off down the hall, trying to get away from the accusing looks. I run until I reach the outside, sucking in deep breaths of air, as the tears run down my face. I stand there breathing heavy before hailing a cab and heading home. 

Walking into my apartment, I look around, seeing Daphne everywhere and I rush to the bathroom, throwing up the contents of my already empty stomach. After the feeling of nausea recedes, I crawl into my bedroom; my last thoughts are of my dead family. 

Two Weeks Later

Sitting in the NICU I watch my beautiful daughter thinking about the last two weeks. After the blow up with the Chanders, they came to me and apologized for what they said. I was grateful for that because I can’t do this on my own. Together we arranged Daphne’s funeral. The church was full with friends from school and family joining us. I handled my parent’s funeral on my own, wishing that I had someone to help me but we have no family, it was just the three of us. Getting their affairs in order is taking some time. As their only living heir, I’ve inherited everything and now have to decide what to do with the house and belongings. This weekend I will have to go over there and start getting things in order. 

I missed a week of school but had my homework sent via email so that I could stay caught up. Being in advanced classes makes this necessary. I graduate in three months and I don’t need to lose my GPA because of this nightmare. I have to go on for my child, for me. I’ve been to see Caitlyn everyday these last two weeks, happy to have her with me. They say that she’s gained a couple of ounces; she has to be over five pounds to go home. 

“Justin,” Wendy the nurse says.

“Hmmm,” I ask. 

“You should go home, you’ve been here already five hours,” she replies. I nod my head because either I go now or they will badger me until I leave. I stand up, brushing my daughter's face through the holes and place a kiss on the plastic covering, wishing I could really touch her instead of through plastic. Soon they say. 

I start driving home but decide to go to the Liberty Diner for food, I haven’t been there in almost seven months now, and I feel like I need to reacquaint myself with the world. In honesty, I haven’t been anywhere in the last two weeks, except home, school and the hospital. Parking my dad's, now my dark blue BMW behind a black jeep that looks oddly familiar I make my way inside the Diner. 

Looking around my eyes land on Brian, the man that took my virginity that took my heart. I smile at the memories, it feels good to smile, I haven’t really had anything to smile about in such a long time. I sit down in the booth behind Brian and his friends when a waitress comes up. 

“Well aren’t you a cutie, haven’t seen you around here before,” she says smiling. 

“I haven’t been here in a long time,” I say smiling. 

“What can I get you Sunshine,” she asks. 

“Sunshine,” I question. 

“Yea, it’s your smile, it’s fucking bright like the sun,” she says popping her gum. I laugh at her but quickly order a cheeseburger and coke. 

I lean back in the booth and look around at my surroundings, smiling because I finally feel at ease, at home for once in such a long time. 

“Well aren’t you just adorable, I’m Emmett,” a tall queeny man says.

“Hi Emmett, I’m Justin,” I say smiling at him. 

“Well why don’t you come join me and my friends,” I look at him closely before nodding my head and scooting out of the booth. 

“Guys this is Justin. Justin this Ted, Michael, David, and Brian,” he introduces. Everybody says hi and Brian looks at me closely before looking away. Brian, Michael, and David are sitting on one side with Ted, Emmett and I on the other. 

“Hey Sunshine, I see that you’ve already met my boys,” Debbie says delivering my coke. I smile at her and nod my head. 

“So how old are you,” Ted asks. I smile at him slightly. 

“I’m eighteen,” I inform him. 

“Wow that’s pretty young,” Michael says. 

“Yea well, you can’t choose your age,” I say feeling a lot older than my eighteen years. 

“So are you getting ready to graduate,” Emmett asks. I nod my head. 

“Yea, I graduate in three months from St. James Academy,” I reply. 

“You’re a long way from the Country Club,” Michael says. I can’t help but laugh. I haven’t been to the Country Club in such a long time; I guess it’s been two and half months. 

“Your parents must be happy,” David, answers. I look at him for a moment before looking down, the tears coming to my eyes. 

“They’re dead,” I say quietly. Shaking my head out of my depressing thoughts, I look up the group and they are all staring at me, I shrug my shoulders. 

“Damn, who do you live with,” Emmett asked placing a hand on my shoulder. 

“Nobody, I live by myself,” I say. I don’t want to elaborate and I don’t want their pity. Luckily, before anybody can ask another question, Debbie comes over delivering the food.

“Jesus, what the fuck happened to the good mood,” Debbie asks. I grab the ketchup and pour a generous amount on my plate, staying silent on the subject. 

“Nothing Deb, we just learned that Justin is all by himself,” Emmett says patting my hand. 

“Oh Sunshine, shit I’m sorry to hear that,” she says placing a hand on my shoulder. I just shrug my shoulders, not their fault, nothing they can do. 

“When,” David asks. 

“Two weeks ago,” I say, pushing my food around my plate. 

“Damn do you need anything,” Debbie asks. 

“Na, I was the only surviving family so I’m set money wise. I have no family so I pretty much go to school and then back to my apartment,” I reply, my hunger coming over me. 

“Well, you have a family now, you can be part of our family,” Emmett says clapping his hands. I can’t help but laugh at his antics. I look around the table and see that Brian is still staring at me. 

“What,” I ask in between bights.

“You’re just familiar,” he says. 

“Brian all the men on Liberty are familiar to you, but I have to agree. Have we met,” Michael asks. 

“You fucked me the night your son was born and then a month after,” I reply, taking another bite of my hamburger. Upset that he could have forgotten me but then again, Brian fucking Kinney is the king of Liberty Avenue.

“You’re that little shit,” Michael gasps. I laugh at him but nod my head. Before anybody can say anything, my cell phone rings. 

“Taylor,” I say. 

“Mr. Taylor, this is Wendy the nurse from the NICU,” she says. I instantly tense up. 

“What, what’s wrong,” I ask panic setting in. 

“Caitlyn has been having some problems tonight, we are working on her now, but you need to get to the hospital right away,” she says. Standing up quickly, I pull out my wallet and throw a $10 on the table. 

“I’m on my way,” I say, flipping my phone closed and rushing out the door. God please don’t take my baby.

When I finally reach the hospital, I rush right into the NICU. 

“What’s going on,” I ask frantically. 

“She’s stable now but she stopped breathing in her sleep. It looks like sleep apnea, which is common for preemies, the alarms went off, and we were able to get her breathing stabilized. We’ve put her on a ventilator for now,” Wendy explains. I nod my head and look down at my beautiful daughter, tears flowing down my face. I came so close today to losing her. Please God, don’t take her away. I remain at the hospital until five am, when I have to leave to get ready for school. 

School is fucking awful, someone is always pushing me into lockers, punching me, grabbing me by the throat, and the day is only half over. The teachers and everybody ignore it; they don’t take well to diversity. Before when Daphne was here, she would at least stick up for me, but now there’s nobody. 

They announced our ranking for school today and I’m pleased to learn that I’m number one in my class with a GPA of 4.4. I knew taking all of those honor classes was worth it, before with Daphne, we were always fighting for the number one position. 

Even thought it’s been one hell of a day, and my body is sore from the abuse it’s taking, I walk out of school and hop into my car with a smile on my face. I decide to go to a park that Daphne and I used to go to before going to my daughter. I smile thinking about my little baby girl. 

Sitting down on the park bench I watch the young kids playing, envisioning Daphne and I there a long time ago. I pull out my sketchpad and start drawing Daphne with our daughter; I lose myself in the drawing, imagining Daphne’s beauty, holding our child. I must have been drawing for at least an hour before someone calling my name brings my attention out of the zone. I look around and notice Brian walking toward me. I quickly shut my sketchpad and look up at Brian as he stands over me. 

“Geez Justin, you look like shit. Everything ok,” he asks sitting beside me. 

“Yea, everything’s fine,” I reply.

“Then you should go see Debbie, she was worried about you after leaving like you did yesterday,” he says looking over at the swing set. I look to where he’s looking and see a beautiful blond woman pushing a little auburn haired infant in the baby swing. 

“Is that Gus and Lindsay,” I ask. 

“Yea, they really grow up fast,” he replies smiling. I always knew that he loved his son; I could tell from the first time that he held him in his arms. I smile at the memory but start squirming in my seat from the emotions that memory invokes in my body.

“Stay here, I’ll be back in a little bit,” he says standing up. I briefly wonder why he asked me to stay as I watch him walk toward his son and Lindsay. He starts pushing his son, squatting down in front of him, making faces. I laugh at the picture. I open to a clean piece of paper and start sketching the sight. As he’s laughing and joking around with Lindsay, I feverishly glide the pencil across the paper trying to capture the moment. 

“You done,” he asks looking over my shoulder. I smile up at him and nod my head. 

“Good, would you like to go to Woody’s for a drink,” he asks. I look down at my watch and realize that it’s almost five.

“I have to be somewhere, maybe another time,” I say grabbing my stuff. 

“Just one drink,” he continues. Brian Kinney begging, sure I’ll go for one drink.

 

“Sure, one drink,” I say getting up. 

“Do you need a ride,” he asks. I shake my head as I walk toward my car. I unlock it and throw my backpack into the trunk before climbing in. 

Arriving at the bar, I follow him inside, taking a seat at the counter. 

“What do you want,” Brian asks me. 

“A beer,” I say. After Brian orders our drinks, we sit in silence for a little bit. 

“Where have you been, I thought you were on to me,” Brian says. 

“I’ve been busy,” I reply. 

“Oh,” he says quietly. 

“How did your parents die,” he asks. 

“Car accident,” I reply. I look over to him, my breath catching at his beauty. He returns my look, smiling at me before leaning forward. He looks into my eyes hesitantly, before touching our lips together. Kissing him starts a fire inside my body and I squirm against the heat in my groin. I push forward, wrapping my arm around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. Our tongues caressing, twisting, sucking on each other, I moan into the kiss wanting more. We lean back from the kiss when breathing becomes necessary and receive a variety of claps, whistles, and catcalls. I blush at the attention and Brian laughs at me. LAUGHS. I shake my head and start laughing too. 

“What to come over,” he asks. Before I can answer, I hear a distinctive whine behind us. 

“Brian, what are you doing here with this kid,” Michael asks. I shake my head realizing things will never change. I stand up and lean into Brian. 

“Sorry, I have to go, but maybe some other time,” I whisper into his ear, sucking on his earlobe slightly before turning and walking away. I have to get to my daughter. With a smile, I head off to the hospital.


	2. Wounded Heart

Justin's POV

Walking into the Diner I spot Debbie immediately and make my way over to her. Since Caitlyn has been born all I do is go to school, to the hospital, and then home. When I'm home all I think about is my daughter and I want to go back; the nurses won't let me back in though. I think that getting a part-time job is the answer I need. Something to take my mind off school and my daughter. 

"Hi Debbie," I say smiling. 

"Sunshine, how are you doing," she asks pulling me in a tight bear hug. I hug her back, finding comfort in the motherly affection. 

"I'm doing good Deb, but I was wondering if you need any part-time help," I ask anxiously. If I can't work here, I don't know where else to check. It isn't about the money; it's about keeping my mind occupied. 

"As a matter of fact we do. One of our waiters quit yesterday," she said smiling. "What kind of schedule are you looking for?"

"Nights would be great Debbie. I have school and then afternoon obligations, but I'm free at seven," I say happily. 

"Well then how about 7:30 till 11:30 Monday through Thursday and occasional other days," she asks. 

"Yes, that would be great Debbie, thanks so much," I say smiling. 

"You don't need the job for money do you," she asks. 

"No Deb, I'm just lonely and need something to take my mind off everything," I say sadly. She pulls me into another hug.

"Anything you need Sunshine," she says. I take a deep shuddering breath before letting it out slowly. I lean back and give her a kiss on the cheek. 

"Thanks Deb," I say smiling brightly. 

"Now you go sit down while I get you a coke," she says pushing me toward a booth. I sit down, pull out my sketchpad, and lose myself in my drawings. 

"Well, hello honey," Emmett says sliding in beside me and wrapping me in his arms. I hug him back when I hear another voice. 

"EMMETT," Brian says in a dangerously low voice. I smile at him as  
Emmett releases his hold on me and scoots out of the booth. Brian sits down beside me, pushing me into the far corner of the booth as Emmett sits back down beside Brian. I shake my head at Brian but my smile never leaves my face. Michael, David, and Ted slide in across from us. Michael looks annoyed while David and Ted look amused. 

"So where have been the last couple of days," Emmett asks. 

"School, getting my parent’s shit in order," I explain. 

"Well why don't you come out with us tonight? I'm sure that you could use the down time." 

"Sure sounds great," I say smiling brightly. I feel Brian move slightly next to me, then his hand on my thigh giving it a gently squeeze. I look over at him and smile slightly, enjoying the feel of his hand caressing my thigh. 

"So Sunshine, can you start Monday," Debbie asks bringing me my hamburger. I didn't even order it but I guess she recalls what I ordered last time. 

"Sure Deb, I'll be here by 7:30," I reply. This is exactly what I need, something to get me interacting with people again, to keep my mind busy.

"You're going to be working here," Michael asks from across the table. 

"Yep," I reply. Michael has never liked me and I don't expect him to start now, in fact, I really don't give a shit about the little whiney man. 

"Why? Do you need money? Anything," Brian asks. 

"No, I just need something to do," I answer. 

He looks carefully at me; he must be satisfied with what he sees because he nods his head before turning back to the group. I wonder what he was looking for, and why his hand is still on my thigh, not that my cock minds at all. He starts rubbing up higher on my thigh, and I adjust slightly trying to get comfortable with the bulge in my pants.  
He moves his hand over a little and encounters my hard aching cock and I gasp quietly, my face turning bright red when Brian turns and looks at me. He smiles at me knowingly and squeezes my cock in his fist. Shit, what is he doing to me?

Brian's POV

I've been dreaming and fantasizing about Justin since the last night that I saw him. I still don't understand why he disappeared the way he did but I really don't care, I'm just happy he's back. Since I saw him three days ago for the first time in six months I can't get him off my mind, not that he was far from it when he was gone. I had been exceptionally cruel to him on numerous occasions but when he was gone, I missed him like crazy. I don't want to go through that again; I don't want him to walk away again. Me, King of Liberty Avenue, downgraded to a lesbian falling in love. I really don't give a fuck what anybody thinks, not that I'll tell them that I'm madly deeply truly in love with this blond kid sitting beside me. He'll know and that's the only thing that matters. 

When I start caressing his thigh, I feel his muscle's tense slightly then relax into the feel of my hand resting against him. I'm instantly hard at the contact that I've missed so much. Rubbing higher up his thigh I feel him squirm in his seat, so I move my hand slightly and encountered a very hard cock; it's matching my own. I squeeze it a couple of times causing him to moan. I don't think that we are going anywhere but back to my place tonight. 

"Shit," I say. 

"What," Michael asks. My hand still resting on Justin's cock, I squeeze it a couple of times before slowly moving up and down the hard shaft. 

"I forgot I have some work I need to finish. Justin do you need a ride somewhere," I ask squeezing his cock again. He looks over to me slightly frowning before his face turns into a slight smile. 

"Sure, I should be getting home," he replies.

"But I thought you were coming out with us tonight," Emmett says slightly pouting. I have to laugh at his child-like behavior. 

"Another time Emmett, can't you see the boy is tired," I say squeezing his un-boy like cock. 

"Yea Emmett, I'm pretty beat, school has been hell," Justin says. I look over at him wondering if something is going on at school but he won’t look me in the eye and my curiosity is immediately peaked. 

"OK Justin, but you are going out with us tomorrow," Emmett demands. Justin looks around me, smiling and nods his head. 

"You ready," I ask wanting to be alone with Justin. 

"Yea, let's go," he says. I indicate for Emmett to scoot out and Justin and I quickly stand up. He grabs his backpack and positions it right in front of his groin trying to hide the obvious bulge there. 

We hastily walk out of the Diner, when I remember he has his own car. Fuck, luckily none of the guys are aware of that. 

"Do you remember how to get there," I ask him. I don't touch him because I know once I have him in my arms I won't let him go. 

"Yea," he whispers sending chills down my spine. 

I move toward my Jeep as he jogs down the sidewalk to his car. We speed to the loft not wanting to waste any time. He parks behind me then jumps out of his car and walks over to me. I stare at him for a moment before turning toward the door. Not to waste time, we rush up the stairs to the loft and quickly enter, locking out the world. 

Turning away from the door, I see the hesitancy in Justin's eyes but also the raw lust, want, and need. I walk toward him and pull him into my arms, pressing our lips together. Licking around his lips, they part slightly and I delve my tongue into his delicious mouth. 

"Mmmm, God you taste good," I pant, leaning back from the intense kiss. Nobody has ever been able to make me feel this way with only a kiss. I dive back in, my tongue twisting around his as our hands explore each other's bodies. His hands slide underneath my shirt, caressing my back, the warmth of his hands excites me more. 

"Bed now," I demand pushing him toward the stairs. I hastily remove my clothes then turn toward him, standing full dressed, his eyes roaming over my nude body. I move toward him, grabbing at the hem of his shirt and start to pull it up; he raises his arms allowing me to pull off the offending garment. I caress his naked chest, taking in the beautiful porcelain skin marred by bruises.

"Justin, what's going on? What are these," I ask him fingering one of the larger bruises. He looks down where my finger is then back into my eyes. 

"Bullies at school don't like the faggot," he says shrugging his shoulders. I feel the anger welling up inside me at the thought of someone hurting him. I don't say anything as I continue to stare at the dark bruises, trying to reel in my anger. When he steps back from me, I look into his eyes and see the pain there as he diverts his eyes and reaches for his shirt. I stop his hands from pulling the shirt back on and pull him back toward me. 

"Don't hide you're so beautiful," I whisper in his ear before sucking his earlobe into my mouth. Moving down I kiss his neck, his bruised chest, sucking his beautiful pick nipples into my mouth. 

"Oh God Brian," he moans his head falling back. I quickly move my hands down his body and remove the remainder of his clothes before pushing him back on the bed. He moves onto the middle of the bed and opens his legs, inviting me to take him. I crawl up his body, my tongue painting a path up to his raspberry lips. I kiss him hard, passionately; sucking and biting at his lips and tongue. I lean back from the intense kiss when breath becomes necessary and move down his hot little body. I dip my tongue into his navel, fucking it with my tongue before licking the golden hairs that lead to his big aching cock. I nuzzle my face against it, breathing his scent in, which causes my dick to throb, precum leaking from the slit. I lick the underside of his cock before sucking the tip in my mouth. His body arches off the bed, driving his cock deeper into my throat. I forcefully hold his hips down and suck him with earnest. 

"Mmmm, God Brian, close, so close." Justin moans, writhing on the bed. 

"Cum for me, I want to taste you," I say before sucking his cock back into my mouth sinking down to the hilt. "Mmmm," I moan around his cock. I feel his cock throb before his sweet juices shoot into my mouth. I suck greedily, milking his cock before moving back up his body and kissing him deeply, allowing him to taste himself on my lips. 

"I want you," he whispers. I look deeply into his eyes seeing the raw need there. I nod my head and reach over him for the lube and condom. He grabs my wrist and takes the condom, smiling slightly. 

"Just be gentle," he whispers diverting his eyes away. 

"Why, you can't pull the virgin routine on me, I'm the one who took it," I say smiling. He blushes slightly before turning and meeting my eyes.

 

"Yea but I haven't been with anyone since you," he says closing his eyes, his face red. My heart beats wildly in my chest as his words sink in. He hasn't been with anyone but me. 

"No need to be shy," I whisper before sitting up on my haunches. He sits up slightly and rolls the condom on my neglected cock, stroking it gently, teasingly. I groan at the sensation and quickly lube up my fingers, pressing one into him. I feel him tense at the intrusion but he quickly relaxes, he starts moving his hips. He fucks himself on my finger, panting and begging for more. I take my time adding the next finger, wanting to make sure that he's ready. I pull my finger away, adding more lube I slip two fingers into his tight hole. He groans at the stretch, I still my fingers allowing him to adjust to the intrusion before slowly moving them in and out. 

"More," he cries out arching his back as my fingers rub against his prostate, I add a third finger, scissoring them to stretch him thoroughly. My cock leaking profusely at the sight of him fucking himself so wantonly on my fingers. I pull my fingers away and move to where the head of my cock is pushing against his relaxed hole; he wraps his legs around my waist pulling me against him. I lean down to kiss him as I slowly penetrate him. God he's so fucking tight; he grunts in the kiss, I pull back to rub his stomach, his face pinched in pain. 

"Breath Justin," I remind him continually rubbing his stomach until I feel his muscles relax. He bucks his hips slightly and I press forward again slowly until I'm fully encases in his tight, hot hole. 

"Fuck," he whispers arching as my cock bumps against his prostate. I start moving in and out, slowly, rotating my hips, placing pressure against his prostate on every in stroke. 

"More," he demands and I speed up my pace, slamming into him before pulling back out. 

"Oh God, Jus.you.feel.so.fucking.good," I pant. I grab his leaking cock, jacking it in time to my thrusts. His hole clenches around my cock, his back arching off the bed, his head tilted back, his cock pulses in my hand as his spunk spews from his cock. The pressure of his ass milking my cock sends me over the edge. As my orgasm hits me, I throw my head back moaning loudly at the intense sensations coursing through my body. I collapse on top of him and feel his arms wrap around me, holding me to him. I feel his body tremble and I lean up on my arms and look down at his beautiful face. His eyes are red, and tears are streaming from his eyes. I gently wipe the tears away, leaning down I kiss him softly, wondering why he's crying.

"Justin, what's wrong," I ask cupping his face. He looks up at me with glassy eyes. 

"I didn't think I would ever be with you again," he whispers as fresh tears fall from his eyes. What happened that made it so he wasn't around for six months and why didn't he think he would be with me?

 

"I've got you," I whisper against his lips before capturing them in a soft kiss. As I pull out, he grunts from the slight pain and the loss of fullness. I smile down at him before rolling off and removing the condom. Getting out of bed, I clean myself before bringing a warm cloth to him. I wipe the cum from his skin, dropping the cloth off the edge of the bed, I gather him in my arms. I gently caress his back as he lays his head on my chest. I want to ask him so many things but I don't. I fall asleep with the boy I've been dreaming about in my arms.

Justin's POV

I wake up to the light shining in my eyes and a body pressed against mine. I look toward the clock and see that it is already eleven in the morning. God, this is the best sleep that I have had in the last six months. I smile thinking about the reason for that good sleep. I gently turn over in Brian's arms and caress his face softly not wanting to wake him up. However, my good intentions go flying out the window when I hear the loft door sliding open. 

"Brian," Michael calls out and I groan at the intrusion to our privacy.

"Fuck," Brian mutters, opening his eyes sleepily. 

"What the fuck, I thought you said you had work!" Michael says from the stairs, anger present in his voice. Brian pulls me tightly against him, covering my body with the duvet. 

"What the fuck are you doing here Michael," Brian asks angrily, his body tense. 

"What the fuck is that kid doing here," he asks in return. I bury my head in Brian's chest groaning at Michael's words. 

"Michael it's none of your fucking business why he is here. NOW, why don't you tell me what you are doing here," he asks. 

"I was seeing if you wanted to get lunch with the guys," he says meekly.

"Yes we'll be ready in about 30 minutes," Brian says sitting up. Michael continues to stand there his face revealing his anger. 

"Can you fucking give us some privacy," Brian yells. Michael opens his mouth to say something but he quickly turns and heads down the stairs. I shake my head sitting up; leaning into Brian's back, I kiss him between the shoulder blades before resting my chin on his shoulder. 

"I can't go, I have to be somewhere," I say following him into the bathroom. 

"Where," he asks. This is my opportunity, I should tell him now, but I need him and I don't want him to throw me out on my ass so I shrug my shoulders at him. 

"Prior commitment," I respond. He looks at me and I can see that he wants to ask me what, but he doesn't. He just nods his head as we get into the shower. We don't mess around, just quickly wash off, and get dressed. 

"Can I see you later," he asks hesitantly. 

"Yea, I would like that. I should be done about seven," I respond. He looks at me again wanting to ask me but he doesn't. I feel my resolve to lessen and decide to tell him when Michael interrupts. 

"Can we fucking go already," Michael sneers. Brian shoots daggers at Michael before turning back to me. He caresses my face softly before leaning down and kissing me. 

"Later," he whispers. I smile at him placing a final kiss on his lips.

"Later," I reply. Then turn toward the door. 

"Bye Michael," I call over my shoulder before letting myself out.  
Smiling I head home to change and dress for the hospital. 

Late April

Brian's POV 

Sitting on the sofa I stare of into space thinking about what Michael has just told me. I don't want to believe that Justin would do this to me, not after everything that we've been through. But I can't help but allow that seed of doubt to take root in my mind. For the last week, Justin has been avoiding me; ignoring my calls and when I do manage to track him down, he isn't himself. He's withdrawn from everybody and when he does talk to you, he's short and to the point, no feeling at all. But looking into his eyes, I can see the pain there and want to do nothing more than take it away.

It's also coming up on the three-month anniversary of his family's passing. After finding out about his parents death, I read all the information I could about the car accident that took both of his parents and his sister. I still don't understand why he didn't tell us that his sister had also died in the accident, but I figured that he was still emotionally raw over the loss and it was too painful to mention. 

I think that our relationship is fucking great; the sex is amazing but it's more than that, so much more. Although we are not exclusive, my amount of tricking has definitely decreased, and I didn't think that Justin was tricking at all or if he was, it was very seldom. But we don't talk about tricking, ever; I assumed we didn't need to. Sex with a trick is just that, sex, physical release and you're done; but with us, it isn't that simple. We have agreed that tricking is fine as long as there is no emotional attachment; we come to each other for the emotional gratification. But now, after Michael told me about 'D', I don't think that Justin is as committed to us as he implies. I want to ignore all this shit but it's not an option, nobody makes a fool of me, not even by the man that I love. 

With my painful decision made, I pull myself off the sofa and head to the bathroom to get ready for the family dinner and end of my first and only relationship. 

Justin's POV

It's already seven o'clock and I am supposed to be at Debbie's in less than fifteen minutes but I couldn't tear myself away from my beautiful Caitlyn. Since she has been born, she has made great improvements. They were able to remove the ventilator two weeks after having been on it and now she's down to oxygen only twelve hours a day. She hasn't gone back into respiratory arrest after that first time, which I'm grateful. However, they have found that she has many of the same allergies I do, such as penicillin and sulfur drugs, when her little body came down with a viral infection caused by being on the ventilator.  
That was when they decided to remove the machine. 

They were also able to remove the feeding tube last month and now I'm able to be a part of her feeding when I'm here. She now weighs a little over four pounds and they think that I'll be able to take her home next month. I'm so fucking happy that my baby girl will be able to come home with me. 

"Justin," someone says from behind me. I turn to look over my shoulder and see Kelly, of the nurses, standing behind me. 

"I know Kelly, I just don't want to put her down," I say looking down at Caitlyn. 

"I realize how you feel Justin, but you know the rules and you've already been with her for ten hours, it's time for you to go home," she says with authority in her voice. I have to laugh at this petite young woman as she comes and takes my daughter from my arms. I reluctantly let her go, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. 

"Daddy will be back tomorrow baby," I whisper against her forehead before turning and walking away. 

As I head to my car, I allow my mind to wander over the last three months and more specifically this last week. I have been avoiding Brian and I don't really understand why I'm doing it. I feel like I'm betraying both him and Daphne, although Daph has been gone nearly three months now. God I still miss her with every fiber of my body and now that it's coming up on the anniversary of her passing, I feel that I'm betraying her, breaking my vows to her. She knew that I wasn't in love with her, not in the way I am Brian, but I still loved her. 

I think that I've allowed a lot of doubt to creep into my mind about Brian and me since my self-imposed isolation. I love him and want to be with him but what will he think about my daughter, what will he think and feel when he realizes that I've deceived him all this time, I didn't lie to him intentionally; I just didn't know how to tell him about my past with Daphne, about my daughter. I realize though that with Caitlyn coming home soon, I'll have no choice but to tell him and allow the cards to fall where they may. I don't want to lose him but I will have no say in the matter once I tell him the truth. 

As I pull up to Debbie's I take a deep breath before climbing out of my car and heading inside. Walking inside I see the family all gathered around the table, everyone looking at me causing me to blush. 

"Sorry, I had."

"A prior engagement," they all said, causing me to blush even more. I notice that Michael takes the seat next to Brian, which is usually reserved to me. I mentally shrug my shoulders and sit down next to Vic; everyone is staring at me causing me to become extremely self-conscience.

"Let's eat," Deb says.

As we are eating, they talk about the past, things that I know nothing about and have no choice but to isolate myself from the conversation. I remember having these types of meals with my parents and with Daphne. Being able to talk about the old days, embarrassing moments, and happy times. I don't have that anymore, I don't have anybody to relive the past with. I feel the tears well up in my eyes thinking about what I've lost in such a short time but also think about what I've gained, with my daughter and this extraordinary group of people.

"Justin," 

"Hmm," I say brought out of my thoughts. 

"Fuck Justin, can't you forget about your boyfriend for one second.  
Emmett asked how school was going," Michael says harshly. I wonder what the fuck is wrong with him.

"Over, thank god," I reply, wondering why he keeps talking about Brian like he's not here. 

"What do you mean," Ted asks. 

"I'm in private school. We get less time off during the year so school ends early for us. Especially since I'm graduating, it ends even earlier," I explain.

"But why aren't you happy? Your senior year should be the best year of your school life," Vic says.

"Yea, well, when you're getting your ass kicked everyday because you're gay, you can't help be glad that the fucking shit stops when school does," I reply. 

"You probably deserve it," Michael sneers. I look at him for a second before looking back down at my plate. Did a do something wrong? I mean I'm used to his behavior and I'm even used to everyone overlooking it but tonight it's getting a bit too much.

"Get your grades yet," David, asks happily changing the subject. I smile slightly at him. 

"Yea, valedictorian of my class," I reply happily. I love the fact that  
I beat out all the breeders in their quest to be top dog. Then I remember that I possibly wouldn't have been valedictorian had Daphne lived. 

"Justin," Debbie asks. I shake my head out of my depressing thoughts. 

"Yea," I ask. 

"Everything ok," she asks concerned.

"He's probably just missing his boyfriend," Michael sneers. I look up at him then over to Brian, my eyes going soft when I look into his pain-filled ones. 

"Yea, Deb I'm fine," I reply. 

"So when's your graduation, Are you giving a speech, Where are you going to college," Lindsay rushes out smiling. I smile at her in return. 

"I graduate at the end of the month. No I'm not giving a speech and I'm going to PIFA," I reply smiling at her. 

"Why the fuck aren't you giving the class speech," Deb hollers.

"The board asked me not too because of the drama surrounding my life this year. Coming out, my parents' death, my." I stop myself before finishing my eyes filling with tears. I look down again at my hands squeezing my eyes shut. 

"Why didn't you tell us you got into PIFA," Lindsay demands. 

"Probably waiting for his boyfriend to decide where he was going,"  
Michael mumbles. I look at him quizzically, what the fuck is he talking about. 

"I found out shortly before the accident, must have slipped my mind," I answer shrugging my shoulders. Why does the accident keep coming up tonight? 

"How are you paying for tuition," Emmett asks. 

"My inheritance," I reply. 

"How are things with your parent's estate," Mel asked. 

"It's all settled. I sold the house two weeks ago, got rid of most of their belongings that I didn't want. With the money I got from their house, I bought my own," I reply thinking about the house I bought for Caitlyn and me. 

"Why didn't you tell us you were moving," Debbie asks. I look at her for a moment then shrug my shoulders. 

"Don't know, didn't think that it was important," I reply. 

"You just didn't want us to know," Brian replies angrily. I look up at him confused, wondering where all the anger is coming from. 

"No, I just didn't think that it was important. I've lived in my apartment almost nine months now, I need a change so I'm moving," I reply casually. 

"Nine months? But your parents only died three months ago," Vic said. SHIT, I scream in my head. I drop my fork down and lean back in my chair, I guess my all my secrets are going to come out tonight.

"Yes, they died three months ago but I hadn't been living at home since September," I reply looking around the group of people.

"Have you been fucking D since then," Michael sneers. I feel my body immediately stiffen up and the mention of the initial and wonder how the fuck he figured it out. 

"How the fuck did you know about D," I ask. 

"I saw you with him, and thank fucking god so I can get you the fuck out of my family. You don't belong here you lying little shit. You've lied to all of us, especially Brian. Your nothing but a lying little whore," he yells at me. I stare at him dumbfounded, wondering what the fuck he is talking about. 

"Michael, what the fuck are you talking about and who have you seen me with and when," I ask seriously confused about this conversation and a little bit of suspicion about what he really knows. I lean down below me and grab my backpack, pulling out my journal. 

"I saw you last night with him, walking down Liberty," he answers, and I know he is full of shit. 

"You couldn't have Michael; I was working the closing shift at the Diner with Deb. So why don't you tell me how you really know about D," I answer angrily, putting my journal on the table. He eyes it warily and  
I know he has been in my shit. He doesn't say anything, just stares at me.

"When," I ask and he knows what I'm talking about.

"Last week, but it doesn't change the fucking fact that you are sleeping around on my best friend," he yells. I grab my journal, stuffing it back into my bag before standing up. I look around at the people that have been my family for the last three months and see that they believe all the shit Michael is spouting. I look back at Michael and Brian before deciding to lay the cards on the table.

"You don't know a fucking thing about D and it's none of your fucking business. You have hated me Michael since we met nine months ago.  
You've treated with me contempt, sarcastic remarks since I've known you. But I would really like to know why the fuck you thought you needed to lie to everybody. Never mind, I don't give a fuck what your reasoning was. Just stay the fuck out of my business," I reply angrily before walking out of the kitchen. 

Brian's POV

"Not so fast Justin," I say stopping him from leaving. He turns to look at me with pure anger and hurt in his eyes. 

"I think it's been established as to what you think. I don't believe anything else needs to be said," he says, his eyes full of anger. "Now let me the fuck go." He pulls his arm hard trying to break my grasp. 

"I think we deserve an explanation Justin. What are you doing? What are all of these prior commitments? Who the fuck is 'D'? Quit fucking lying to me Justin," I demand, my anger coming to the forefront of my mind. I watch Justin closely, he closes his eyes briefly before opening them, making eye contact with me. 

"Fine, I'll tell you, but it's not what you think," he said in a soft voice. I watch him carefully as his eyes get a soft far away look in them. 

"I think it's exactly what I said. Look at you, you have guilt written all over your face," Michael says angrily. I love Michael to death and I'm grateful that he's on my side. I trusted Justin and he betrayed me. Proof again that love is bullshit. Fucking is honest; if you need love that is what friends are for. I look back at Justin his face contorted into a mask of rage. I place myself between Justin and Mikey, making it clear who I'm protecting and defending. Justin looks at me then back at Michael and shakes his head sadly. 

"It's not guilt Michael. I'm fucking hurt that you would go through my things, read private things that I wrote, that nobody else was supposed to read. Tell me, did you read just one entry, did you look at my sketchbook, or did you just read and assume the worst of me. I'm pissed that you didn't talk to me about it first, that you ran to Brian and told him what you read in MY journal. Without my fucking permission," Justin says through clenched teeth. I step back further wanting to protect my best friend. 

"It's a good thing that I did too. Otherwise, you would have used my family, my best friend for your kicks. Then what Justin, you would leave us all high and dry while you live out your fantasy life with 'D' in your new cozy little home. I was protecting my family, my best friend and I would do it again," Michael sneers at Justin. I chuckle at Michael's words, he has Justin nailed. 

"You should be ashamed of yourself," Lindsay says, clutching Gus to her chest in a protective manner. The rest of the family murmurs their agreement, some inflicting their own words of pain.

"What the fuck Justin," I demand angrily. 

"Fuck you," Justin replies, looking at me, then the rest of the family.

"None of you have bothered to ask me, all of you just assume that I have done something wrong. For your information, I'm not getting a place with "D." It is fucking impossible being as "D" IS FUCKING DEAD YOU ASSHOLE," Justin yells his eyes wet with tears. Oh, shit!

"You're lying, you're just trying to cover your ass," Michael answers angrily. 

"How the fuck would you know if I'm telling the truth. You're the only one that has been caught in a lie tonight! Brian, just because we were sort of together, doesn't mean I've told you everything but it doesn't mean that I was cheating on you either," Justin says tears in his eyes. 

"Well now is your chance Justin, I think you have a lot of explaining to do," Vic replies calmly. I watch Justin as he looks at all of us before shaking his head sadly. He moves toward the wall and leans against it, he looks to be in deep thought. 

"Justin, it looks like you’re thinking about more lies to tell us," I reply. What else would he be thinking about so intently? I never should have fallen for his bullshit. 

"D stands for Daphne. We had known each other since we were three, met in preschool and we had been inseparable since. She was my best friend in the whole fucking world. She died in the accident with my parents. They were coming back from the store, I was supposed to be with them, but I was studying for my SAT's. Last July she asked me to be her first. She wanted to do it with someone that she loved so that it would mean something. I wanted her to be with someone that wouldn't hurt her. That wouldn't then spread it around school how easy she was. She knew I was gay but she accepted it. We agreed nothing would change so we did it. The first week of school, I went to Liberty where I met you," he says looking up to me, I want to go to him but I can't, not yet, not until I know the truth. "I then proceeded to un-shamelessly throw myself at you. Anyway, in September, Daphne told me that she was pregnant. I still don't understand how it had happened, we used protection," Justin says shrugging his shoulder, pushing himself off the wall. "We told our parents and they forced us to get married. That is why I disappeared for six months," Justin says, his eyes glistening with tears. I take a step forward wanting to comfort him but Michael stops me by placing a hand on my shoulder. 

"That doesn't explain where you sneak off to everyday," Michael says bitterly. I realized that Justin never answered that question. I look at him accusingly wanting an answer. 

"Daphne didn't die instantly in the accident. She died during delivery.  
My daughter was born three months early. I've been with her. I stay there as long as they allow me to," he replies. 

"Justin it is nearly impossible for a baby to survive that premature.  
How could you use that as your excuse, that is just plain horrible. All those poor mothers out there, their babies dying due to premature birth you are a heartless man," Melanie says hatefully. Justin pushes further away from the wall making his way over to the phone. He quickly dials a number before placing it on speakerphone. 

"Pittsburgh Presbyterian Hospital, how may I direct your call?" 

"Can I have the NICU please," Justin asks. 

"This is the NICU, Kelly speaking," a young lady answers. 

"Hey Kelly," Justin replies.

"Justin what are you doing calling, I told you to go out and enjoy yourself tonight," she replies laughing.

"Yea, I'm having a grand time Kelly," Justin says looking around the room. "How is Caitlyn Daphne Taylor doing?" Oh, shit a baby. He has a baby. He wasn't lying, oh God, I've fucked up.

"Justin she is fine, just like she was two hours ago when you left.  
Better question is, is how are you doing," she asks. What the fuck is she talking about?

"I'm fine Kelly but I have to go," Justin replies. 

"Justin you aren't fine, you have a fractured rib. Have you reported Chris?" She asks. Chris, who the fuck is Chris? Fractured rib, who the fuck hurt him. 

"Kelly you know that I'm not going to report him. The school doesn't pay attention to it, the cops aren't going to do dick about it. I'm done anyway; I shouldn't see him again except at graduation. Now I really have to go," Justin replies. 

"OK Justin, I'll see you tomorrow. Not too early."

"Of course, I'll be there about seven," he says laughing, hanging up the phone. He turns back to us, pain clearly etched on his face. 

"Justin," I say taking a step toward him. He holds up his hand, stopping my approach. He looks around at the family around him and shakes his head sadly. 

"I have never lied to any of you. I'm an honest person and if you would have asked, who 'D' was or about my 'prior engagements', I would have told you. But you didn't give me that option," he replies sadly.

"Brian, I love you. I think that I've loved you from the first time I saw you but by you not believing in me, not trusting me, we don't have a chance in hell. If that's even what you wanted. I don't know anymore, I thought. Well it doesn't matter what I thought because it's over now," Justin says with tears in his eyes. I feel tears spring to mine as I realize he's walking away. Please don't let this happen, why did I listen to Michael, Why did we have to attack Justin? How do I stop this?

"So you were sleeping with Brian while you were married to Daphne.  
Lying and cheating on both," Michael says. I turn to look at him and all I can feel is my anger rushing over me. He lied to me, to all of us and now Justin is walking away.

"The night I found out Daphne was pregnant was the last night I slept with Brian until after the accident. Daphne knew I was gay, had for years. She told me after we were married that I was free to go find someone to be with, that I didn't have to stay celibate. But I couldn't, wouldn't do it to her. I may never have been in love with Daphne but I did love her and I took vows. I promised. And I never break my promise," Justin replies, hefting his backpack onto his shoulders and turning toward the door. He stops as he reaches the doorknob and turns back to us. 

"I really felt like I had a new family for the last three months. I didn't feel so alone. I don't think any of you realize how painful it is to lose two families within three months of each other. I was sincerely growing to love all of you. Brian, I did, do, love you, with all my heart. That's why I've been avoiding you. I felt that I was betraying you because I was still mourning Daphne's death and I felt like I was betraying her because I loved you. That and I couldn't explain all the bruises. Deb, I quit, I have a child I'm bringing home soon, and I need to get ready for her. That and I just don't think I could be around any of your right now." With that said, he opens the door and walks out. 

I started moving toward the door wanting to stop him, apologize to him, and love him. 

"Brian what are you doing, we are finally free of him. Don't you see, it still works out in our favor! You're free to be yourself again, no more playing boyfriend, back to fucking and sucking. Being Brian Fucking Kinney, King of Liberty Avenue!" Michael says grabbing my hand.  
I wrench my hand free of his grasp, turning toward him. 

"How dare you make up all those lies about Justin, turning us all against him, causing me to doubt his love for me, I thought you were my best friend, that you would be happy for me. But you won't be happy until I fuck you, until you are the one that is sleeping in my bed at night, the one that I love. Well you can keep dreaming Michael because it will never happen. I will never love you as I do Justin. Instead of celebrating your victory, you should be more concerned about how our friendship is going to survive after you lying to me, to all of us," I say harshly before turning back to the door. I rush outside, the others following close behind but it's too late. Justin is already gone.


	3. Wounded Heart

Justin’s POV

I peel away from Debbie’s with a squeal of the tires, wanting to get as far away from that fucked up family as possible. My eyes start burning and I can’t keep the tears at bay any longer as they start to stream down my face. My vision is blurry by the tears welling up in my eyes and I pull over on the side of the road, resting my head against the steering wheel as painful hiccupping sobs pour out of my body. Why? That’s the only question running through my head, why? Why didn’t they love me enough to ask me? Why didn’t the care enough to find out? Why did they trust that Michael was telling the truth? Why wasn’t I worth the fight? Why does everyone I love abandon me? After falling apart in my car for at least thirty minutes and finding no answers, I decide that sitting on the side of the road in the middle of night isn’t the best choice so I pull myself together enough to drive home and fall apart in the safety of my apartment. 

As I trudge up the stairwell to my floor, the tears begin falling without abandon down my face. I can only imagine how I must look at this moment; my eyes red and puffy, my nose running, my face streaked with tears, flushed from the pain. As I turn the last corner of the stairwell, I look up at my door and make eye contact with the man that has caused me so much pain. I stop on the last step staring at him, wondering what he could possibly say that I would want to hear. 

“What the fuck are you doing here,” I demand, clutching my house key in my hand. 

“I think we need to talk,” Brian replies. I look deep into his eyes and can see the pain there and I want to comfort him, to tell him that it will be alright; but my own pain and broken heart pushes through my love-crazed mind and stops me from moving toward him. 

“I think that we’ve said all we need to. Now why don’t you run along to your best friend and continue the Brian and Mikey show without my expense,” I say bitterly moving toward my door. I’ll be damned if he keeps me out of my home; all I want to do is reach the safety of inside where I can fall apart and begin to mend my broken heart. 

“Please,” he whispers quietly, and I feel my resolve break. I push past him, unlock the door, and walk in. I leave the door open for him as I move toward the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of vodka and a shot glass. If he insists on having this conversation now, I plan to be heavily loaded by time it ends. I sit down on the couch and pour myself a double and throw it back, squeezing my eyes shut at the strong taste and burn as the alcohol slides down my throat. When I open my eyes, I see him sitting on the love seat across from me, watching me warily. We stare at each other in silence and I wonder who will be the first to break. 

“I’m…I’m sorry,” he says quietly looking down at his hands. I laugh bitterly at his words. 

“Sorry is bullshit,” I reply pouring myself another shot. 

“Not this time. I should have trusted you but you should have also trusted me,” he says louder. I stare at him for a moment, placing my shot back on the table unfinished and lean back into the cushions, allowing them to comfort my tense body. 

“You’re right, I should have trusted you but…, but I was afraid. You had already mentioned that you didn’t want to be a full time dad, and well, I’m going to be a full time dad, I guess I just wanted to enjoy the time I had with you. Which apparently is up, so why don’t we stop this bullshit talk, say goodbye and go our separate ways.” 

“No,” he replies staring in my eyes. 

“No?”

“I’m not going to let you push me away. I’m not ready for this…for us to end.”

“You already ended it Brian. You ended it by believing Michael’s bullshit story and not talking to me about it. You ended it when you and your family ganged up on me. You ended it when you abandoned me and stood by ‘your very best friend’!” My voice starts rising with each word, ending with me yelling at him. 

“Michael has always been there Justin. He’s been my constant in life for 16 years and I thought that I could believe what he was saying. I mean, why my best friend would betray me, why would he hurt me,” he questions. 

“Are you really that fucking blind Brian,” I ask irritated by his ignorance. He stares at me raising an eyebrow, waiting for me to elaborate. “He only wants him to be happy. If you are happy with HIM then its ok, you find happiness with anybody else and he has to ruin it. He’s still waiting for you to fuck him or at least finish the hand job from 16 years ago.”

“No, he has David now,” Brian replies but I can see the truth in his eyes, he fucking knows. 

“Right, you can’t fucking tell me if you suddenly changed your mind and told him that you loved him, more importantly that you were IN love with him that he wouldn’t dump David in a heart beat,” I reply rolling my eyes. He chuckles a little bit at my dramatics and I can’t help but laugh a little too. I really am a Drama Queen.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he says again. I stare at him for a moment, desperately trying to form an answer in my mind. 

“I can’t trust you Brian. What happens the next time he tells you something about me. What happens the next time we are all together and he lays into me, teasing me, berating me, putting me down. What happens next time he gets in between us?” I stop and take a deep breath trying to keep the tears from falling. “And even if we could get past Michael’s bullshit, what about my daughter? You don’t want to be a full time dad, your lifestyle doesn’t agree with it and I know that you don’t want to give up your reputation. But Brian, I AM a full time dad. Caitlyn will be coming home soon and she will be my priority. I won’t be able to go out as much and she will have my undivided attention, how could we ever survive that,” I ask, I shake my head at my romantic ideas of raising my child with the man I love. 

“You aren’t even going to give me that chance,” he asks angrily. 

“Why the fuck for Brian. So that you can break my heart again? So that my daughter can get attached to, you and you end up hurting her by walking away. I’m sorry but it’s not a chance I’m willing to take,” I reply angrily. 

“Fuck you Justin. You’re just like everybody else. Sure, you say you know me that you love me but you won’t give me the benefit of the doubt. You won’t even give me the chance to love you, to love Caitlyn. You won’t give me the chance to grow into the man that you deserve, the man I want to become.” He says to me angrily. I stare at him in shock, wondering if I could have been wrong about everything. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just you said that you didn’t want to be a full time dad and I didn’t want you to think that I was trying to trap you. I didn’t want you to change unless you wanted to. I didn’t want you to resent me,” I say quietly. I feel him sit down beside me and I turn to look at him with tears in my eyes. He pulls me toward him, laying my head against his chest, my hands clutching his biceps. 

“I want to change Justin,” he whispers against my head. I lean back and stare into his face. 

“I need you to be sure Brian, I need to be able to trust you,” I say quietly. 

“How,” he asks. 

“I want you to think about it Brian. I want you to think about what you will do in the future when Michael starts his shit again. I have to trust that you’ll stop it, that you won’t buy into his bullshit. That you won’t turn your back on me,” I say adamantly, I won’t take less, not anymore. 

“I won’t, you have to believe me,” he says pleadingly. 

“How can I know that Brian when just tonight you believed him, how can I know that it won’t happen that way in the future. I understand in some way, you’ve been friends for 16 years, your loyalty has always been with him, but I won’t be used as his verbal punching bag anymore. And.” I stop trying to think of a way to say this without pissing Brian off. I look over to him; he’s eyeing me intently, encouraging me to go on. 

“I need you to be sure about us, about me, about Caitlyn. I know that you said you wanted to change; I just want you to think about it long and hard before coming to that decision. I love you Brian but I don’t want to be hurt again, I can’t, I don’t think I can make it again. So I want, I want you to make sure that you are ready to be with Caitlyn and me,” I explain. 

“Justin,” he starts but I cut him off quickly. 

“Please Brian,” I beg of him. I just want him to be sure. I won’t go through another ordeal like the one I did tonight. He studies me carefully as the tears fall from my eyes, he moves toward me, taking me in his arms. I hug him close to me, not wanting to let him go, but knowing us to grow I have to. He pulls back and gently caresses my face, kisses me softly before exiting through the door, closing it quietly behind him. I want to call out to him, beg him to stay, to tell him my words were bullshit. I’ll take you anyway I can, but I can’t, not this time. This time, I have to be a man, a man with a child to take care of, a man that needs more than a casual fuck. 

Two Weeks Later

Brian’s POV

For the last two weeks, all I have thought about was Justin. How I miss holding him in my arms, kissing his soft lips, caressing his silky hair, talking to him about our days. This young 18-year-old man, wise beyond his years, has changed my life so drastically in the last 9 months. I’ve taken this time to slip back into my old life, the drinking, the drugging, and the reputation. It isn’t exciting anymore, yeah the different tricks were somewhat satisfying and different, but it didn’t compare to the feelings that I had with Justin when I was buried inside of him. Hearing him moan my name, writhing beneath me, pushing back against me, moving with me, caressing me with his words of love and passion, that is what I want, what has been missing these last two weeks. 

But am I ready to be with someone who is a full time father, someone who has responsibilities to someone else other than himself, other than me? Can I deal with a baby, a child, a teenager? Can I be a better father than my own, love someone else’s child as my own. Love them as I was never loved? I think about Gus, my own son and notice the unconditional, unwavering love that I have for him. I will do anything for my son within my power to ensure that he grows up in a home full of happiness and love. I want to be a part of his life, growing with him, experiencing life through his young and innocent eyes. I’ll do anything to protect him from the hell that I endured, to make sure that he never has to experience a loveless life as I have. I’m already a father, maybe not a fulltime father but this is my chance to have all that, to have a loving family, a family that I have never once dared to dream or wish for. Damn Justin for putting these asinine thoughts into my mind, into my heart, but in my heart and in my mind I know I really don’t feel bad about all these radical changes, none at all. Caitlyn is an extension of the man I love, a man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, if queers really can have such love. 

But the only other obstacle standing in our way is my oldest friend. I can’t really call him my best friend anymore, after what he’s done to Justin since they met, since we’ve come back together, since that night two weeks ago, how can I really call him my best friend. If I’m honest with myself, I don’t think that Michael has been my best friend since Justin appeared. With Michael it’s always about his life, his love with David, his plans or our past, what we did when we were 16, 17, 18 and so on. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever had an intelligent conversation with him, he’s all about comic books and gossip. Justin is an intelligent man. I’ve had some of my most intellectual conversations with him, he challenges me, makes me think about what he’s saying, questioning my own thoughts and ideas. I’m able to take him out and not be embarrassed by his manners or how he talks to people. He’s able to insinuate himself into any conversation without looking like an idiot. He’s intelligent, fun, brave, loving, and sexy as hell. I really could do worse. I have noticed all the sniping between him and Michael and although I don’t want to lose my oldest friend, I can’t stand for Justin to be hurt anymore. I won’t allow Michael and the family to turn their backs on Justin, to hurt him in any way. I did that, sat back and allowed Michael to verbally assault Justin, watched as Justin defended himself and the family swoop into Michael’s rescue. Justin’s right, I have to put him first if I want to be with him, to have a life with him. 

Decisions carefully weighed for two weeks, I pick up my keys and head out the door to claim my future. 

As I reach his apartment, I quickly park the Jeep before bolting up the stairs and banging on his door. I stand there knocking every few seconds; hoping that he’s just busy but when after ten minutes he still doesn’t open the door, I pull my phone from my pocket and press speed dial one. After two rings, he answers the phone. 

“Hello,” he says happily. 

“Hey where are you,” I ask impatiently. 

“Uh, I’m at home,” he replies. 

“Then answer the fucking door, I’ve been knocking now for ten minutes,” I say. 

“I didn’t hear you, hold on a second.” I hear him moving around and a door opening, but I look up and notice the door is still firmly closed. “Umm, Brian where are you,” he asks. I can hear the smile in his voice. 

“You asshole, you moved already didn’t you,” I say laughing. 

“Yes, last week.”

“Well, I want to see you so point me in the right direction,” I say moving down the stairs and back to my Jeep. He quickly gives me his address before disconnecting the line and I drive across town into suburbia. Twenty minutes later, I arrive at his beautiful home. It’s a two-story brick home with a large front yard, large trees lining the driveway. I park in the driveway wondering exactly how much money he has come into, this house is beautiful and by the looks of it, expensive. I move along the path and up the large steps onto the porch and knock on the large wooden door. It feels like forever before Justin pulls the door open, he’s standing before me dressed in a pair of tailored dress slacks and dress shirt. 

“Hey,” he says softly. 

“Hey,” I reply stepping toward him. He steps up to me, looks at me with those amazing blue eyes, I wrap my arms around his waist pulling his body flush against my own. He wraps his arms around my neck, his fingers lacing behind my head. We stare at each other in complete silence, allowing our eyes and bodies to say our unspoken words. I lean down, hesitating a second before placing a soft kiss on his lips, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth. He moans into the kiss, pulling my head down further to his, invading my mouth with his tongue. His taste is so unique, sweet like honeydew with a hint of spice. He leans back from the kiss before burying his face in my neck, I walk us into the house, walking him backwards, I push the door closed with my foot, hearing it slam shut from the force. 

“Baby,” I ask quietly, stroking his back as he clings to me. He shudders slightly before pulling back from the embrace, his eyes glassy with tears. 

“I’ve missed you so much Bri,” he says shuddering. I take his hand in my own giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Why don’t you lead us somewhere to sit,” I ask. He looks at me for a second before leading me through his home into his entertainment room, the TV playing quietly. I sit down on the sofa pulling him down with me, settling him on my lap before wrapping my arms around him as he burrows into my body. 

“I’ve missed you too Justin,” I say, squeezing him to me. 

“Why are you here,” he asks. 

“I can’t let you go, whatever we have to face, we’ll face it together,” I reply running my hands over his arm. 

“You sure,” he asks, staring into my eyes. 

“Justin, these last two weeks without you have been hell. I’ve missed you so fucking much, I was going out of my mind wanting to see you, hold you, and kiss you. We’ll face old friends, dysfunctional families and new beginnings together,” I say honesty. His lips twist slightly into a smile, his face turning slightly pink, he looks down at his hands before looking back up at me, his eyes swimming with tears. 

“I love you Brian.” I hear the words caress my wounded heart and I feel my own eyes welling up with tears. This amazing beautiful man is opening himself up to me, allowing me into his own shattered heart, trusting me to love him, protect him, to be there for him. 

“I love you too Justin,” I saw with a watery smile. He leans forward pressing his lips against my own, kissing me softly, so full of love and tenderness. I move to deepen the kiss but he pulls back. 

“What,” I ask, panting slightly. 

“I um…have a prior commitment,” he says smiling. I think about what he’s saying before catching onto the term that he using. 

“Can I come,” I ask hesitantly. 

“You want to?” 

“Yea,” I whisper. He smiles brightly at me before leaning in for a chaste kiss, jumping off my lap he starts toward the door. 

“Well let’s go,” he says smiling. I jump off the couch and follow him out of the house. 

“Since you blocked me in, we’ll take your Jeep, okay,” he asks. 

“Sure,” I reply moving to the driver seat.

“So what have you been up to? Who helped you move,” I ask, as I pull out of the drive and move us toward the freeway. 

“Nothing much, I moved a lot by myself, the big stuff was moved by a moving company. I pretty much just arranged the house and got everything in order for when Caitlyn comes home,” he says smiling. I reach over and rest my hand on his thigh, caressing it softly. 

“Why didn’t you call me,” I ask. I would have helped regardless of our relationship at the time. He covers my hand with his own, intertwining our fingers, squeezing gently. 

“I was giving you time to make your decision, I didn’t want to force myself onto you,” he says sincerely. I look over at him before turning my eyes back to the road. 

“I’m here now,” I reply, squeezing his fingers with my own. 

“Yea you are,” he says smiling. “Anyway, I graduated, didn’t give the class speech, spent everyday with my daughter, organized my house, sketched, painted, and watched TV. Nothing spectacular. You,” he asks. Pulling into the parking garage of the hospital, I park the Jeep before turning and looking at him. I want him to trust me, so I have to trust him not to blow up at me. 

“I upheld my reputation. Did too many drugs, drank too much, fucked anonymous guys and at the end of the day went home lonely and missing you more each minute,” I say softly, looking into his eyes. He smiles slightly at my words, leaning forward he kisses me tenderly before leaning back. 

“I’m happy that everything led you back to me,” he says. I smile at this amazing man sitting in front of me and thank god that he chose me. 

“Ready,” he asks. I nod my head and we both exit the Jeep, meeting in front our hand intertwine as we walk into the hospital. When we arrive on the third floor, we move down the hallway to the NICU area. Justin picks up the phone, holding it in his hand until the door buzzes; he replaces the receiver before pushing the door open. 

“Well Mr. Taylor what a surprise,” an older woman says smiling. 

“Sure it is Pat,” he says laughing. 

“Before you go in, we have some good news,” she says, placing a hand on his shoulder. I can feel him squeeze my hand a little bit before looking up at her. 

“Caitlyn is doing really well, well enough that if all goes good this weekend, she’ll be able to go home on Monday,” she says smiling. I watch Justin closely as a bright smile appears on his face, tears streaming down his face. I pull him to me, wrapping my arms around his small body, kissing the top of his head. 

“Thank God,” he whispers against my neck, placing a small kiss there. I squeeze him to me tightly, feeling the joy pass through him into me. 

“You must be Brian,” the nurse says looking at me smiling. I raise an eyebrow at her asking how the fuck she would know that. 

“Please, this young man hasn’t gone a day without talking about you for the last three months, I think I would know you anywhere,” she says. I hear Justin chuckle against my neck before leaning back. His eyes are dancing with happiness, his face a little wet from the tears. I smile down at him before kissing his forehead. 

“I think you have an introduction to do,” I remind him gently. He smiles brightly before pulling out of my arms and grabbing my hand, leading me through the maze of corridors. We come to a room that has four cribs and some hospital machines, but for the most part, looks like a normal nursery. He moves to the bed in the far corner where a nurse is fidgeting around with the baby. 

“Kelly is she ready to eat,” Justin asks. The young nurse turns toward us, her face splitting into with a wide smile. 

“You are never late Justin, I have her bottle ready for you,” she says leaning over the crib and grabbing the bottle that is sitting on the table. Justin moves around her and leans over the crib, caressing the baby’s face. 

“How are you baby,” he asks gently, picking up the small infant in his arms. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen anything as beautiful as this. Justin’s features are soft, full of love as he hugs the child to his chest, placing soft kisses on her head. He sits down in the rocking chair as Kelly hands him the bottle. Caitlyn coos softly, her small hand reaching out for her daddy. Justin smiles down at his beautiful child before teasing her lips with the nipple of the bottle. Caitlyn quickly latches onto the nipple, suckling the formula out of it. I walk over to him, kneeling beside him and look down at the beautiful child. Her skin is darker than Justin’s is but she has beautiful blue eyes and creamy blond hair. 

“Caitlyn, this is Brian. Brian, this is my daughter,” he says looking over to me, smiling brightly. I lean down and place a small kiss on her forehead, caressing her cheek softly as she suckles on the bottle. 

“She’s beautiful, baby,” I say softly looking into Justin’s eyes, my eyes full of tears. As they slip down my cheek, he leans forward, resting his forehead against my own, gazing into my eyes. 

“Why the tears,” he asks softly. I lean forward and wrap my arms around my family, careful of the small child in my lover’s arms. 

“I love you so much Justin. It must be you Taylors because I can already feel myself being wrapped around some fingers,” I say laughing. He chuckles softly too before leaning back into the chair, looking down at his daughter. 

“Can…can I hold her,” I ask hesitantly. He looks up at me, smiling before moving out of the chair, Caitlyn pressed against his chest. I sit down in his spot and he gently places Caitlyn in my arms. She whimpers slightly but immediately settles down as I begin to rock her gently in the chair, humming softly to her. Who would have known, Brian Kinney, falling in love with a blond twink and his child? Not me, that’s for damn sure, but I wouldn’t change a thing. 

”She’s beautiful Justin,” I say in awe of this beautiful baby in my arms. He smiles at me before sitting at my feet, his sketchpad already in hand. 

“Thanks, but I think that she looks a lot like Daphne,” he says smiling sadly. 

“I’d like to meet her as well,” I say staring at him. He looks at me perplexed with my comment. 

“Brian, you can’t…I mean she’s dead,” he says scratching the back of his head. 

“I know but I could go with you to visit her, I know that you do. You never know, maybe she will give me some insight to your life before,” I say smiling down at him before turning back to Caitlyn. I pull the bottle from her lips before placing her up on my shoulder and patting her back softly. 

“Hmmm, even if she would talk to you, she would never divulge my secrets,” he says smiling. He looks down at the crisp piece of paper in his pad and starts to draw. My attention is divided between the beautiful Caitlyn in my arms and my baby sitting at my feet, feverishly drawing. 

Justin’s POV

After spending the rest of the afternoon and most of the early evening in the hospital, we decide to take our leave when the nurses kicked us out. I smile thinking about how Brian didn’t want to leave Caitlyn at the hospital. 

“What’s that smile for,” he asks looking over at me from the driver’s seat. 

“Thinking about the fuss you made about leaving Caitlyn at the hospital,” I say smiling at him. 

“I did no such thing. I just asked if there was anyway for her to come home today, I mean they are releasing her in two days,” he replies. 

“Brian, you were damn close to stomping your feet and I think I saw your bottom lip jutting out,” I reply laughing. 

“I just wanted to take her home with us, she’s so damn beautiful and small, but damn can she make a mess. Are you hungry,” he asks. I smile at this amazing man sitting beside me and wonder where our life will lead. No matter what I think, it will be an amazing road to travel with him. 

“Yea, I’m always hungry Brian,” I reply smiling at him. He reaches over and squeezes my hand before entwining our fingers. I feel warm all over with his unspoken love. We spend the rest of the trip in silence as we make our way to the diner. I’m not sure if I’m ready to go there, but if I want to be a part of Brian’s life, it means dealing with his dysfunctional family. As we pull up in front of the diner, he kills the engine and turns toward me. 

“You ready,” he asks gently. I look over at him and nod my head, although I’m a little weary of what lies inside. He leans forward, pulling me toward him and kisses me deeply, our tongues caressing each other, dueling for superiority. He licks the inside of my mouth, exploring every nook and cranny causing me to moan, my dick throbs in my pants, and I move my hand down to rub it. He pulls back from the kiss, stopping my hand before it makes contact. 

“Later,” he replies covering my cock with his hand and squeezing it. I tip my head backward at the intense feelings rushing through me. He chuckles slightly at me and I look at him trying to glare, but the smile plays on my lips. 

“Yeah later,” I reply before smashing our lips together, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him against me as best I could within the confines of the Jeep. Leaning back from the kiss, I smile brightly at him before untangling our limbs and jumping out of the Jeep. I wait for him on the sidewalk as he follows suit and meets me. 

“You’re a little shit,” he says before grabbing my hand and leading us into the diner. The place is busy as we head to the back booth that is located directly behind his friends. 

“Hey Brian, sit with us,” Michael yells over the noise. I feel my body tense and I wait for Brian to decide but Brian just looks at him before shaking his head in the negative. I feel my body slightly relax as he pushes me into the empty booth, sitting beside me. He places his hand on my thigh, squeezing it gently before kissing the side of my head. 

“Sunshine,” Debbie says coming to our table, smiling brightly. I smile slightly at her, the pain I felt two weeks ago raging through my mind. 

“Debbie,” I say nodding me head hello. Her face fell slightly when she realized that I wasn’t going to do more, wasn’t going to pull her into my arms as I did so often in the past. She sits across from me and takes my hand in her own. 

“I’m really sorry Justin,” she says quietly and I shrug my shoulders and look away. I don’t want to trust her again only to have her turn her back on me. 

“Please Justin,” she begs. I look back at her with tears in my eyes.

“It’ll take time Debbie,” I say softly squeezing her hand in my own. She nods her head, a few tears slipping down her face. 

“What can I get you guys,” she asks standing up. After quickly ordering our dinner the guys, Emmett, Ted, Michael, and David, move to our booth, Ted sitting at the end in a chair. 

“Sweetie it’s so good to see you,” Emmett gushes and I smile slightly before grasping Brian’s hand, squeezing it. 

“Uh, you too Emmett,” I reply shakily. He looks at me oddly before nodding his head. I think he grasps the level that they all hurt me because he smiles sorrowfully at me.

“I thought you weren’t together anymore,” Michael says looking at Brian. Brian looks directly at him, raising an eyebrow. 

“What ever gave you that idea Michael,” Brian replies. I realize something is up between the two men when Brian uses Michael’s name instead of nickname. 

“The last two weeks Brian, you were free to be yourself, fucking everything that moved like old times, why would you go back to be with this kid,” Michael sneers in my direction. Brian squeezes my hand painfully, I can see the anger overwhelming Brian, his jaw is set, his eyes blazing. I suddenly realize the reason why Brian told me about the last two weeks, he didn’t want it to be a secret between us; he didn’t want me to find out about his adventures from Michael.

“Are you that blind Michael that you mistook my pain management of not having Justin for old times? Get over yourself Michael. You have David and are in a relationship; I have Justin and am in a relationship. If you want our friendship to survive you better fucking understands that, accept Justin as my partner as I have accepted David as yours,” Brian says in a no bullshit tone. I feel myself smile slightly at his words and lean into him, kissing his neck. 

“Oh come on Brian, you know there is a difference. Justin is just your fuck buddy, David and I are in a committed relationship, we love each other,” Michael says smiling at David. I feel Brian tense beside me and wonder when Michael will ever get a fucking clue about his friend. 

“You really don’t know shit Michael. You believe what you need to, to get you through the nights but leave Justin the fuck alone,” he replies emphatically.

“You want to go home and order in,” Brian asks. I smile at him and nod my head. Yes, I want to get away from these people, away from the people who claim to be our friends but in the end only hurt us. Brian is doing what he said he would, stopping the bullshit from Michael, but the rest of the family haven’t gotten it yet, they just sit around and allow Saint Michael run at the mouth. Brian grabs my hand and pulls me out of the booth.

“Hey where are you two going, I have your food,” Debbie says approaching the table. 

“Sorry Debbie, we lost our appetite,” Brian says looking at Michael before pulling me from the diner. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” I say softly after we both settle into the Jeep. He looks over at me for a moment before caressing my face. 

“Yeah I did, it’s time that Michael learn his place in my life. It’s time that he realizes that we aren’t fuck buddies, never have been,” he says before starting the Jeep and taking us home. I feel myself falling just a little bit more in love with Brian. He’s willing to sacrifice his friendships and family to be with me, not that I would let him, he needs them as much as they need him. If not anything else, I have learned in the last year that you really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. You have to make sacrifices and choices to keep those you love close to you and sometimes the road is rocky with a lot of twists and turns but sometimes the road can be smooth and straight. I think my life with Brian is just beginning and our road will never be smooth for long, but we’ll always travel the road together. 

I lean over the distance separating us and kiss his neck, resting my head against his shoulder, needing to feel close to him.

“I love you Brian,” I say quietly. He wraps his free arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. 

“Me too,” he says.


End file.
